#2: Surprise didn't really works. She's still not feeling well.

20th June 2011

Surprise to give her anniversary card didn't really works. Guess her parents or brother saw the card on the car wiper and carry it to her room. Waiting for her message straight after I open my eyes in the morning. She didn't message me on that. I have to try harder next time.

She still did not feel well, coughing gotten worst. Sleepy in office after taking medicine from doctor. I am so glad to hear she is taking half day leave to back home and rest. She should. I think she is pushing herself too much that her body can't take it anymore. She knows about that, but she cannot help. That's Jestina, devoted to her job. Sacrificing her health, ignoring it, clients and work always beyond herself.

It will be a challenge to convince her to get enough rest before she resumes her work. I don't want to sound like I'm nagging her, but when I see her in such condition, I really hope I can help her or at least make her feel better. Listening to her voice while talking to her, make me wanting to visit her more. I really miss her. I message her that I miss her last night, but there's no reply from her.

Talking to my friends on my situation helps a lot. I need their support badly. Juliet told me, a bf is not someone to rely on. A bf is someone who is gonna pamper your make your days happier event hough you are already happy. A bf is never a person you hold on to cause you have a problem. He is the one that shares everything with you through thick and thin. I believe in that.

My brother asked me why I love her so much this morning. I paused a while. The image of Jestina smiling comes to my mind clearly. The answer is simple, Jestina is a nice lady to talk to. She's caring. I'm holding on to the belief that she can be a wonderful gf is she's is committed to the relationship. She doesn't deserve to be like what she is now. I don't think she wants that life. If I'm not her lucky one, at least I try to change her. I really want to see her smiling everyday. She deserves that.

This Tuesday is suppose to be our dinner but I don't think she can make it. I can't make it as well, dinner with MA3 and managers. I really want to visit her. She said she don't expect anyone to take care of her when she's not feeling well. I never expect that in her with her personalities, but I still want to do that.

Jestina, you mean a lot to me.