#4: Am I thinking too much?

I don't know what to talk to her. Her reply doesn't seems convincing. I don't know hot to continue the conversation from her reply. IS she avoiding me lately. Might be. I want to visit her tonight, hoping to see how is she now and to give her the book, but she said maybe she will sleep already by the time I visit her.

i scared i sleep dy haha

nvm lah not really have to be tonight

if u have things to do u shud go ahead

Message like that is so discouraging. What goes into my mind is tonight there we won't meet up. we'll only know tonight the result. But what make me so confident that she doesn't want to meet up? She is just way to nice to reject a person. She just put thing in a nicer way. You may say I think too much but I might be right as well. I don't think she wants to meet me.

If she really dislike me already, I won't want to keep bugging her like that. I know that is very annoying cause I won't want others to do that on me. I hold tight to the belief that

Be brave enough to accept that some things aren't meant to be. Letting go takes courage. You gotta allow yourself to grow stronger. 

and to this as well, 

If u ever find someone u really like, fight like hell to get them; Once u get them, fight like hell to keep them!

Both statement are contradicting. One advice us to let go when things are no longer ours, another urged us to fight for our love. Which one am I doing right now? I choose to fight. I will fight like hell to win her heart. 

If u don't like someone, might as well tell that person instead of lying to him/her everyday. Truth may hurt, but lies hurt WAY more

Then again, I believe it is worth fighting to get her heart. She is worth every sacrifice that I made. I always remind myself on , 

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back!

Don't expect love in return; 
Just wait for it to grow in their heart,
But if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.

She might not be giving me any love right now, that shouldn't stop me from giving her love. I need to constantly remind myself that NEVER EVER expect any love from her. She owe me nothing even if she is my girlfriend. Without a strong mind, I will hate her for not returning the love. Let's face it, who am I anyway to expect that from her. Constantly I remind myself Don't expect love in return. I am still unsure how long I need to convince myself doing this.

Jestina, please, give me a chance to make your life better. Together, we can make it.