#5: Maybe I need to grow stronger.

Friends told me, if you care for her too much, they will try to get over your head. I slowly begin to believe this. Not with Jestina. I did not even try to climb on top of mine. She warned me before. It's me who want to be treated that way. Blame no one other than myself. I ask for this, I got it. She doesn't look happy when she met me last night. Up until a point where both of us got nothing to talk in the car. I'm glad her face changed to happy one after I show her the book. At least I know she can still smile. It's been a while since I saw her smile happily. I always tell myself maybe I think too much. She might be tired due to her throat. I hope that's true. Cause so far I can't see any commitment from her. 

She never ask anything on me. When I ask her bout her stuff, what I get is simple answer. That's all. She will only answer my question. If compare to last time, she will still tell me something. I accept that things will always change, but I never expect it to change so fast. I will keep going after her. Everything is back to zero for me. I need to win back her heart. I'm constantly learning all the way. My question is if she's not into me, why can't she just tell me she wants to break up. It will save her time and she won't need to meet my face anymore. I don't think she's looking forward meeting me. Things won't remain like how it is now for long. It will come a time when I can no longer provide care and attention for her anymore. 

Be brave enough to accept that some things aren't meant to be. Letting go takes courage. You gotta allow yourself to grow stronger. 

Jestina, I would love to see your sweet smile again